Living in the Day You are in
Cherilyn Schutze MEd., LPC
3 minute read
IN THIS ERA OF COVID, PEOPLE ARE COMING FACE TO FACE WITH ILLNESS IN WAYS LIKE NEVER BEFORE.HAVING AN ILLNESS, CARING FOR SOMEONE WITH AN ILLNESS OR HAVING A LOVED ONE WHO IS SICK CAN BE SCARY, CONFUSING, FRUSTRATING AND OVERWHELMING. IT CAN ALSO TEACH US LESSONS WE MIGHT NOT HAVE LEARNED OTHERWISE.
I’m a firm believer in looking for the lesson or the meaning in trials. I’m also a big proponent of paying attention to feelings – acknowledging and moving through them.
One way to move through them is to look for the meaning or lesson.
Can illness teach us lessons we might not otherwise have learned? Can good come from being forced to slow down and live in the day we are in? I know from personal experience that the answer is yes.
In 2015 I was forced to stop working due to a serious lung infection I contracted while working as a crisis counselor for a major hospital group. Not only could I not work, but I was basically housebound with no end in sight. I had to figure out my new normal, my new purpose and how to stay hopeful. In order to do that, I realized I had to ask myself what I could learn from my illness and how I could apply those lessons to my life. I’m happy to say that after 4 years, I was able to return to the job I love and to carry the lessons I learned into my daily life, and into my work.
One of the gifts of living in the moment is that we begin to realize it doesn’t serve us to dwell on “what if”, “what was” and “what is to come.” Not that we don’t think about those things, or that they aren’t in the back of our minds, or even that we don’t get overwhelmed some days. Of course we do… we are human after all. The lesson is to make a conscious decision not to dwell on them, and instead acknowledge the fears and anxiety, and then to move through them, instead of sitting in those emotions. I like to say it’s OK to have a pity party once in a while, as long as you don’t stay too long. Nobody needs a pity party hangover! We can celebrate the gift of learning to live in the present while being mindful of the future.
Part of this new perspective is learning we don’t have complete control over our choices. Illness has a way of either making decisions for you, or forcing you to make them.
Sometimes, illness will compel us to spend days in the house, on the couch or in bed. Illness can teach us how to be bored and to accept it. Most of us have difficulty with boredom, with being still. But when one doesn’t feel well, it’s imperative to make friends with boredom. There are days when the mind wants activity, but the body disagrees. That can be frustrating, but more often than not, because the body needs to be still, the mind goes along with it. It takes too much energy for a mind/body competition. We can learn to embrace the idleness.
The fog of illness can make it difficult to be thankful. Studies show, however, that practicing gratitude has many health benefits from easing aches and pains, to improving sleep and helping with depression and anxiety. We have to make a conscious decision to strive for gratitude. You can begin with daily reminders or mantras of the things you’re grateful for. It may be that you’re grateful that you are able to get out of bed that day, or that you’re grateful for your family, your faith, or your morning coffee. Find what you can be grateful for in the midst of your hardship. You will be rewarded. It’s a small thing you can do to help yourself. Every moment of gratitude brings healing.
It is also important to learn to stay in the day you are in– trusting God’s plan for your life and putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one moment at a time. Learn to embrace uncertainty. We live with uncertainty every day of our lives without thinking about it. Our bodies know what to do with uncertainty. You will not always be successful at it, but keep trying, because some days we have to lace up our boots and slog through the mud, whether we feel like it or not. By doing this, we are not only moving forward, we are strengthening our resilience.
And finally, make it a priority to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and validate you. This can only aid in your healing, even if you are the caregiver and not the one who is sick. There is no room in illness for doubters or anyone who brings you down. Your illness has that part taken care of already.
MY HOPE IS THAT YOU WILL FIND COMFORT IN STILLNESS, HOPE IN GRATITUDE AND PEACE IN TRUSTING YOURSELF AND THE PROCESS. DOING THESE THINGS WILL GIVE YOU THE FORTITUDE TO PUT ON YOUR BOOTS AND KEEP MOVING AHEAD ON YOUR JOURNEY.
Please reach out if you would like help moving forward.
