You Are More Resilient Than You Realize
“You are more resilient than you realize.”
If you’ve been feeling tired, emotional, overwhelmed, or like you’re not handling things “as well as you should,” I want to offer a gentle reframe:
Resilience doesn’t mean you never struggle.
Resilience doesn’t mean you don’t cry.
Resilience doesn’t mean you always feel strong.
Resilience is what allows you to struggle, to cry, to not feel strong, and to still keep going.
It isn’t the absence of hard days. It’s continuing anyway.
Resilience often looks different than we expect—subtle, quiet, and easier to recognize in hindsight. It looks like getting up and taking the next step when you’d rather stay in bed.
It looks like showing up for your life even when your heart feels heavy. It looks like making it through hard seasons imperfectly, slowly, and sometimes with a lot of support. And if you’re reading this, you already have proof that resilience lives in you.
WHAT RESILIENCE REALLY IS
A lot of people think resilience means “toughness.”
Like you should be able to handle whatever life throws at you, and it shouldn’t affect you.
But that’s not resilience. That’s emotional survival mode.
True resilience is the ability to adapt, recover, and keep moving forward—even when life feels uncertain, painful, or exhausting.
It includes flexibility. It includes self-compassion. And it often includes reaching out for support.
Resilience is built quietly—one day, one choice at a time.
Some days, it looks like doing more.
Other days, it looks like slowing down and taking care of yourself.
Sometimes your most resilient choice is not pushing harder—but pausing long enough to listen to what you actually need.
That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
RESILIENCE CAN LOOK LIKE RESTING, TOO
Sometimes resilience looks like taking care of yourself:
Going to bed earlier
Turning off the news
Saying “no” when you mean no
Taking a break from someone who drains you
Asking for help
Going to therapy
Resilience is not only about grit. It’s about learning what you need and giving yourself permission to receive it.
WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL STRONG, YOU MIGHT STILL BE STRONG
One of the tricky things about resilience is that you don’t always feel resilient while you’re in the middle of something hard.
In the middle, it can feel like:
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m falling apart.”
“I’m not okay.”
But feelings are not always accurate reflections of what’s true. They are real, and they matter, but they aren’t always reliable narrators of your strength.
Often, people don’t realize how strong they are until they look back and recognize what they’ve made it through.
YOUR BRAIN WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT DOING ENOUGH
Even with this kind of reframe, it’s normal for your mind to keep questioning you. Stress has a way of making everything feel heavier—and making you second-guess yourself.
When we’re stressed or anxious, our minds tend to focus on what’s going wrong and look for evidence of what we didn’t do—or what we “should” be doing. Our brains are often hardwired to scan for danger and criticism, especially toward ourselves.
That can make it difficult to recognize your progress.
So sometimes resilience starts with something simple: choosing to look for evidence of what is working, and reminding yourself that you’re doing the best you can with where you are right now—instead of letting your mind default to self-judgment and worst-case thinking.
TRY THIS EXERCISE: THE “EVIDENCE LIST”
Grab a piece of paper (or open your notes app) and try this:
1. Write down three hard things you’ve lived through.
(They can be big or small—anything that required endurance.)
2. Next to each one, write one strength it brought out in you.
Examples: persistence, courage, adaptability, tenderness, faith, problem-solving, self-awareness, boundaries, humility, hope.
3. Finally, write one sentence:
“If I got through that, I can take the next step through this.”
This exercise isn’t about pretending it wasn’t hard. It’s about recognizing what’s true: you’ve made it through hard things before.
When you’re done, take a deep breath and notice what shifts, even slightly. You don’t have to feel confident yet. You just have to take the next step.
