Connection as a Path to Healing. Carrying the weight of life by yourself can feel lonely and isolating. But it doesn’t have to be…
When we’re anxious, grieving, overwhelmed, or simply exhausted from carrying too much for too long, the world can start to feel smaller. We may still show up to work, respond to texts, smile at the grocery store, but inside, we feel disconnected. Like, no one really sees or even cares how hard it is.
Here’s what I want you to hear today: Feeling alone doesn’t mean you are alone. It often means you’re human, and you’re in a season where you need support. Asking for support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength. It strengthens connections and helps both the one needing support and the one giving it. It is a gift to others to let them in and to let them help.
Connection is one of the most powerful healing tools we have.
Why connection matters so much
In my work as a therapist, I’ve seen this time and again: when people feel emotionally supported, their ability to cope increases. When people feel isolated, everything feels heavier.
Connection helps in many ways:
1) Connection regulates your nervous system
When you’re around someone who is steady, calm, and safe, your body can begin to settle. You breathe differently. Your thoughts slow down. Your shoulders drop. The world feels less threatening.
This doesn’t mean connection fixes everything. It simply means connection helps you carry what’s hard.
2) Connection challenges the lies anxiety tells
Anxiety can be sneaky. I tell my clients that anxiety can be a liar and a bully when it is working overtime. It often convinces us that we’re the only one who feels this way, that we’re “too much,” or that we’re failing.
A healthy connection helps us see the truth:
“You’re not crazy.”
“You make sense.”
“This is hard, and you’re doing your best.”
Sometimes just having a little bit of validation helps us see the light at the end of the tunnel and can give us the confidence to do the next small step.
3) Connection helps grief and pain move through you
Grief, trauma, and stress don’t just live in the mind; they live in the body. When we’re alone, we often stuff our feelings or push them away because it feels unsafe to feel them.
Connection offers safety to allow us to move through them. It makes it possible to feel what you feel without being swallowed by it.
The loneliness that can come with struggling
One of the hardest parts of being anxious, grieving, or overwhelmed is the loneliness that comes with it.
Sometimes it’s because other people don’t know what to say.
Sometimes it’s because we don’t want to burden anyone.
Sometimes it’s because we’re used to being the strong one.
And sometimes it’s because we’ve learned (often early in life) that it’s safer not to need.
But healing often begins when we allow ourselves to be supported. That comes with self-compassion. When we are gentle with ourselves, we are better able to connect with others.
Not perfectly.
Not all at once.
Just enough to take the next step.
Your “team” matters
I often talk about the idea of a team, the people or person you can turn to in times of stress and in times of joy.
Your team might include:
A trusted friend
A spouse or partner
A family member who’s emotionally safe
A therapist
A mentor
A faith community or support group
Even one person who checks in and truly listens
And here’s something important: It’s not the number of people on your team that matters; it’s the quality.
One emotionally safe person can be more powerful than a room full of people who can’t meet you with empathy.
“I don’t want to bother anyone…”
If you struggle with reaching out, you’re not alone in that either.
Many people fear being a burden. So they carry everything inside. They tell themselves:
“I should be able to handle this.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“I don’t want to be dramatic.”
“I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
But needing support doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
And often, the people who love you want to be there; they just don’t know how unless you let them in. People can’t know what they don’t know.
Start small: connection doesn’t have to be a big leap
Connection isn’t always a deep heart-to-heart conversation. It can be something simple:
Asking someone to go on a walk
Sitting with someone and watching a show
Joining a group class or community space
Scheduling a therapy session
Journaling honestly (yes, even this can be a form of connection with yourself)
Sending a quick text
Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is take one small step toward support.
Try this exercise: “The Connection Check-In”
Take a few minutes and write down the answers to these questions:
When I’m struggling, what do I usually do?
(Do you isolate? over-function? distract? Shut down? people-please?)Who feels emotionally safe to me?
(Not perfect—safe. Someone who listens, who doesn’t judge, who respects your boundaries.)What kind of support do I need right now?
Examples: someone to listen, help with a practical task, reassurance, quiet company, professional support.What is one small step I can take this week to let myself be supported?
Keep it realistic. Small steps matter.
If it helps, you can use this simple sentence starter:
I’m having a hard time and I could really use______________________
A gentle reminder…
Feelings aren’t facts. They are a response to something. They are information to be investigated in a non-judgmental way. If you’re in a season where you feel alone, please don’t use that feeling as proof that you’re unloved or unsupported. Let it be a signal.
A signal that you need compassion
A signal that it’s time to reconnect.
A signal that you need care.
A signal that you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.
You are not alone.
And you don’t have to do it all at once.
Just take the next small step.
If you’re ready to take that next step and you live in Texas, I offer therapy and consultations to help you navigate anxiety, grief, trauma, and life transitions with compassionate support and practical tools.
