The Wise Mind
WHAT IS WISE MIND, HOW DO WE GET TO OUR WISE MIND, AND WHY DO WE WANT TO? TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS, WE MUST FIRST HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE REASONABLE MIND AND THE EMOTIONAL MIND.
Let’s start by taking a look at the Emotional Mind. Have you ever noticed yourself or someone else becoming overwhelmed, or “flooded” with emotion, finding it difficult to reason? This can happen when one’s ability to think rationally is “hijacked” by the amygdala, which processes strong emotions like anger and fear. The result is an impairment of the logical part of the brain in the moment. When someone is flooded, logic and reason aren’t easily accessible. The amygdala doesn’t know fact from fiction. It only knows feelings– and is not able to determine if the emotion is “reasonable” given the circumstances. When in your emotional mind, reason, facts and logic are not important. Mood and feelings such as fear and anger, prevail. This can lead to urges to act upon those feelings and thoughts by lashing out, shutting down, or even self-medicating.
The opposite is true when operating strictly from your logical mind. According to Marsha Linehan (creator of the wise mind concept in DBT therapy), when one is in their Reasonable Mind, values and feelings are not important. Facts, logic and reason are in charge. Have you ever been frustrated when trying to express your feelings only to be shut down because the other person doesn’t resonate with emotion or doesn’t know what to do with it? When this occurs, your emotional needs aren’t met, which can lead to being flooded.
Wise Mind brings emotion and logic into balance. According the the WiseMindCenter, “It creates a feeling of ‘knowing’ what’s right, a felt sense or a shift in the body—bringing with it a sense of greater presence, openness, peace, and clarity.”*
HOW CAN WE GET TO OUR WISE MIND?
Wise Mind is experiential. It involves active mindfulness, bringing your thoughts to the present moment and out of your head or internal being. This practice involves thought diffusion which is “…creating space between ourselves and our thoughts and feelings so that they have less of a hold over us.”** Imagery exercises can be very helpful for this. By practicing mindfulness, you are developing a sense of calm, lowering your emotional reactivity and changing your brain, creating new pathways and connections.
“The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s difficult to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear.”
–Prasad Mahes
Here are a few examples of mindfulness techniques my clients have found helpful to get to their wise mind:
1. Container (Often used with EMDR therapy): Imagine a container. It can be anything from a box with a lid, to a trash can, to a cookie jar-any kind of container that works for you. Now imagine yourself gathering all those emotions, feelings, and negative thoughts and putting them in the container. You can gather them up yourself, you can use a tool like a shovel or a spoon—you can even imagine someone helping you. Now imagine putting them all in the container. Once you have them in, imagine closing the lid and putting the box away. Some people picture putting the box on a high shelf; some think of putting it in a closet, under a bed, burying it, or even putting it on a ship and watching it float away. Whatever works for you. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Use your imagination!
2. Conveyor Belt: Imagine all of your worry thoughts, overwhelm, and anxiety on a conveyor belt and watch them as they move down the conveyor belt and drop off at the end, no longer visible. The key is to imagine the thoughts etc. without judgment.
3. Clouds: Imagine watching your worries and overwhelm on a big fluffy cloud that passes over you and out of sight. (Remember, no judgment)
4. You can also try imagining your concerns on a leaf floating down a river past you and out of view.
5. Mindful breathing: Sit quietly and notice your breath. Notice the feeling in your nostrils as you inhale. Notice the feeling of air filling your lungs. Notice the feeling of your breath as you exhale. Now try to make your inhale and exhale the same length. Continue to do this until you feel more calm and notice the anxiety lessen in your brain and your body. (Your brain and body are very connected-when one is on high alert, so is the other. When one is calm, so is the other.)
These techniques are all experiential and teach your brain that it doesn’t have to worry, ruminate and overwhelm you. You can bring your mindset into Wise Mind and feel more balanced and less controlled by negative thoughts and feelings.
The next time you find yourself feeling flooded, or unable to connect to emotions or feelings, try one or all of these techniques to help bring yourself into your wise mind.
Check out my previous blogs to learn more about anxiety tips and changing your brain
